On August 29 the remake of the 1989 film The War of the Roses was released in theaters around the U.S. Simply titled The Roses, the remake successfully took the “comedy” out of “dark comedy,” despite its star-studded cast.

With Olivia Colman and Benedict Cumberbatch in the leading roles, and a supporting cast including Andy Samberg and Kate McKinnon, these actors should have been able to lead this film down the path to glory. Unfortunately, even they couldn’t save it from the miserable script, direction, and pacing. 

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the plot of The Roses, which actually originated in a 1981 novel by Warren Adler, the story is, first and foremost, about a couple getting divorced. 

There are a few major beats that both the 1989 and 2025 versions of the film hit. The couple (Barbara and Oliver in 1989, renamed Ivy and Theo for 2025) meet and fall in love relatively quickly. They have two children, come into possession of a very nice house, and are happy for a while. Along the way, they have a few smaller fights that eventually spitball into a decidedly unhappy marriage. The kids leave for school, the Roses decide to get a divorce, but cannot come to an agreement regarding who should get ownership of the house in the separation. Still living together during the negotiations, they each resort to dramatic and maniacal tactics to try to force the other to give up the house. 

This last part, where they spiral into deeper and deeper insanity, is the fun part of the film. The rest of it is set-up, necessary for the pay-off but not the focus of the film. Remember that, it’s important for later. 

It’s also important to highlight the changes that The Roses made to the characters and plot to understand why it didn’t work. In the 1989 version, Oliver is a successful lawyer, while Barbara pursues a catering career from home. In 2025, Theo is a failed architect, and Ivy is a renowned chef. Theo is the one who stays home with the children, up until the kids get scholarships (at the ripe old age of thirteen) to a special program for their athletic prowess. 

Since the house is central to the story, it’s necessary to discuss the alteration of this plot point, too. In The War of the Roses, the Roses move into a mansion whose previous owner has died. Barbara lies to the heir of the deceased, pretending to have been a friend of her mother’s, in order to get the house for a reasonable price. In 2025, since Theo is an architect, he actually designs and constructs the house himself, funded by Ivy’s massive success as a chef. This is actually an interesting twist on the original story, so it’s a shame that the audience hardly gets to see the house in The Roses at all. 

The majority of The Roses is spent setting up the downward spiral, without actually including any spiraling at all. In the two hour film, the Roses only exhibit insane behavior for the last fifteen minutes. This is a problem, considering the draw of the movie is exactly that, the overdramatic and erratic conflict between the couple. 

But no, instead of focusing on that, the filmmakers confine most of the screentime to the life of the Roses before it all blows up. Theo and Ivy go through various fights, only to back down almost immediately from each one. Even at the very end of the film, the couple decides that they do love each other again, before dying in an off-screen explosion caused by a gas leak in the house. Seriously.

That’s the main issue with this remake. It focuses entirely on the wrong part of the movie. It takes the fun out of the plot, and turns a great concept into a miserable experience. On top of that, audiences don’t even get the payoff of watching the house explode at the end, and wind up leaving the theatres wondering what the point was.  

For its strange pacing and overall unfunny tone, The Roses gets a rating of 1/5 Pomegranate Seeds.